God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change….
What is this acceptance thing all about anyway? What exactly am I accepting? Does accepting what is happening in my body mean I am giving up? If I accept it will it define me? Is any of it real anyway?
I have been asking myself these questions…. constantly. One day I am confident that I know what it means to accept what is happening in my body and the next day I question whether or not my acceptance is making my symptoms worse.
I have a friend who has suggested that I not own any of it and be open to the possibility of healing it. So then I think I should be able to heal it and when it doesn’t go away… I feel guilty, worthless. etc. etc. I call it my New Age guilt. … and it has a very powerful inner voice. It keeps me small and confused. It is not at all serene.
So, what is acceptance? For me, it means getting up each day acknowledging that what is happening in my body sucks … and getting out of bed anyway. It means being present to the ups and downs, allowing them to come and go, without becoming attached to them. It means listening to my body’s messages and honoring them. It means being realistic about what I can and cannot do physically, establishing priorities, setting limits and learning to say no. It means letting go of what or how I thought my life should be.
Hmmmm, as I read what I have written….acceptance of what is appears to be spirit’s invitation to live in the present… fully engaged in what is needed this moment…. knowing that that is the only truth. And that IS serenity.
